oh god the rape fog is back!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
