Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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