I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
