You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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