don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
