It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I feel great
I just peed on a car
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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