im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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