I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize
