i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
