There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
