1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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