do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Fuck appropriateness.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
