Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
