Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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