the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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