Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I am available for nakedness
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
