I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
