Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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