I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
