lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
