I hate your face
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize