who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
