Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I cockslap morals
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
