So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
