It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
people are starting to question the shark bite story
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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