i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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