i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
