just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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