Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
