i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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