I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
