What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
