didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
