so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
we're making bets on your personal life
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
