I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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