that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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