Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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