maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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