the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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