Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
