Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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