....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize