and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
