turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
