Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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