sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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