imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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