they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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