Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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