I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Well I just put wine in my tea
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I am naked and annoyed.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
