is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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