who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
