I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
