i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
