in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
