I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
