I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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