she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
