you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
