Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
