Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
